Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
用黑色幽默的笔触描绘灾难，以市民嬉笑的情节包装讽刺，拿青春交换的住宅不能保命，用债务兑现的尊严一击即破。彼时珍爱的摇椅只是一堆柴火，此刻嫌恶的同伴终究值得拯救弹珠滑落是种游戏，地基倾斜就是个末日，暂时安全是种幸运，旁观悲剧便难以心安。低龄无脑喜剧，适合爆米花配可乐，不适宜安静思考。
不像灾难片的灾难片，地产开发商们，危楼害死人呐！！！那辆车植入的很硬
能吐槽的地方颇多，主角光环我就不说了，我就只举一个例子，楼房掉进了几百米深的坑里，但为什么除了火光和车灯到处还那么亮？
片子不错，近期少有的动作片，重现了当年港片动作片的水准。
豆瓣评分很苛刻，可能我太肤浅了吧，但这部电影真心好看，搞笑有，人性有，灾难也有，剧情虽然也好猜，但是多少细节还不错，反正就是好看
3.5星，虽然这个片子剧本属实一般，但是打戏很漂亮，有一种老港片的感觉。武术指导加鸡腿！
物理逻辑的不合理就不聊了，当时超现实童话看即可。中间有一段没看懂是怎么回事。感觉是已经去世的小男孩灵魂引着主角儿子活下来了？
一整栋房子掉进去了，如此惊世骇俗的严重建筑事故，居然没有任何反思警醒，以一对儿强扭的瓜就草草结束了，极其敷衍无聊。
出乎意料的好看，没想到竟然是一部网大，演员演技在线，不尴尬，剧情有起有伏，主题选的也不错，动作很过瘾，镜头剪辑不凌乱，实话比很多院线好太多，国内网剧很有进步，点赞
若不以上帝視角來看，足可發現其艱險；簡直十死半生。最後一段令人動容。
其实还行，有点平淡，看个热闹是可以的。有李光洙就看了，以为是喜剧呢
超高成本喜剧片了属于是，有不少桥段确实挺逗，还是值得一看的
你要把它当作喜剧片看，就不会和剧情那么较真了。
节奏有点儿慢，前面40分钟都在铺垫。掉下去之后基本靠自救，救援人员大概就送了点物资，最后把桶拉上来。PS：一筐猪即使离开RM，看起来也还是像帕布啊！
与其说是灾难片，不如说是搞笑片。片子的大场面实在太少了，更多的是斗嘴和使绊子。
片子不错，近期少有的动作片，重现了当年港片动作片的水准。
勉强三星。故事太刻意，尤其车胜元以各种身份出现在金成钧面前、孩子见谁就说你好时，简直尬到想找地缝钻下去。片头营造了所有的美好，着力刻画了两组父子情，父亲拼了命也要救儿子；还有一个儿子照顾得了老年痴呆的母亲……然而，这样一部喜剧搞笑基调的影片，应该是大团圆才对啊，偏偏让一个只知道工作的妈妈失去儿子。
光听名字就知道一定是武大打系列，虎门销烟只是一部分，更多的是要将旧中国的惨烈体现出来
现在的网大品质越来越高了，质感很棒！那个小野哥也太可爱了8⃣️哈哈哈
给这片该有的分
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